Coming out of high school Jhasmin Player was a heralded girl’s basketball recruit, leading her team to district titles, winning district MVP, and being named All-State and All-American among a host of other honors. After graduating, she joined the Baylor women’s basketball team, who were fresh off a national title run and returning their entire starting five.

As with many star high school players that go on to play at the college level, Jhasmin had a bit of a rude awakening upon arriving on the elite college basketball scene as she averaged just over 3 points and 12 minutes per game after averaging a double-double in high school with an average of 32 points and 10 rebounds per contest. She understood that she didn’t grasp things like she needed to in order to up her minutes, but that didn’t help mask her frustration after games she got minimal minutes in.

Now an assistant coach at Maine, Jhasmin took to twitter to talk about her journey as a player, and shared an inspiring story about how she was once a miserable freshman and how a secret meeting between her concerned mother and her coach turned into a lesson in perspective she now wants to share with other parents.

“Nobody told me this until after I graduated, but they said “Jhas, when you were a freshman your mom came and talked to me,’ and that is where it gets interesting because I don’t like parents and players and coaches talking about playing time, because it works itself out. So the fact that my mom did it embarrassed me immediately.”

“But she said the talk was great because she came in here and said ‘Can my baby play at this level? Because if she can’t, I need to figure out how I’m going to manage her for the next four years. There is no quitting, but she can’t be miserable these next four years.”

Parents, I think that needs to be your approach to playing time, because if I couldn’t play at that level, then I could transfer and play somewhere else, but it’s never ‘Play my baby or else,’ or ‘My baby should be playing because.’ It’s ‘Can she?'”

“She resepected that coach Mulkey is there with me every single day and she knows whether I am prepared to play at this level.”

Hear more from coach Player in the clip.

By the way – Player was named to the All-Big 12 defensive honor squad her sophomore year, suffered an injury that forced her to miss her junior season, and came back as a senior and was named co-captain, and led the team in both minutes and defensive rebounds.