Hold the phone, everyone. There's no need to get Finebaum on the line. We're three weeks into the season and, as Jason Kirk of SB Nation brilliantly pointed out Wednesday, no one has played anybody yet -- even if they have.
But teams can only play the schedule they're dealt, and we must make the most of what we have. Thus, there are two ways to win in September:
1) Beat impressive opponents
2) Beat unimpressive opponents impressively
These 10 teams have done the former, the latter or both.
10. Colorado: Through the first nine quarters of their season, the collective scoreboard read "Buffaloes 121, Opponents 21." Yes, the first two were Colorado State and Idaho State and the third (Michigan) turned a 21-point deficit into a 17-point win, but Jim Leavitt's defense ranks seventh nationally in yards per play to date. Their rank last season? 83rd.
9. Wake Forest: Dave Clawson's Deacons are 3-0, matching their win totals from both of his first two seasons, making this the program's best start since a similar run in 2008. Great defense has once again been the program's calling card. The Deacs rank in the top 13 nationally in total, yards per play, scoring and rushing defense.
8. Maryland: Like Wake Forest, Maryland has matched last season's win total in D.J. Durkin's first season. After finishing last season third-to-last in turnover margin -- the Terps lost three turnovers per game in 2015 -- Maryland is tied for eighth in FBS and haven't coughed it up once.
7. San Diego State: If Houston didn't exist, Rocky Long's Aztecs would lead the charge for the Group of 5's Cotton Bowl berth. Donnell Pumphrey hold the mantle as the "This guy should be mentioned for the Heisman even though he has no chance at actually winning it" Heisman candidate, leading the nation by far with 73 carries for 599 yards and 7 touchdowns. That overtime win over California shot up in value after the Bears' defeat of Texas, and winning by two touchdowns at Northern Illinois is no easy feat, either.
6. Army: We're in an election year, so let's put Army's start in election terms. The last time the Black Knights started 3-0, Bill Clinton was still two months away from winning reelection. Jeff Monken's Knights haven't just won, they've pummeled people: 28-13 over Temple, 31-14 over Rice and 66-14 over UTEP, while outrushing opponents by 280 yards per game. This team could easily have seven wins at a minimum before the Navy game.
5. Houston: Does it really count as impressive if you were expecting to be impressed? Once again, Tom Herman's Coogs have done the things necessary to win at the necessary time. Houston won both lines of scrimmage against Oklahoma while turning a 17-13 deficit into a 33-23 win, and then, trailing 16-12 in a road conference game on a raucous Thursday night, ripped off back-to-back pick-sixes to win 40-16.
4. Ohio State: The 45-24 blowout of Oklahoma stands first in line behind Louisville's destruction of Florida State as the single most impressive performance of the season. Even more impressive: how lightning fast the Ohio State staff has brought its inexperienced position units along. The Buckeyes' defensive backfield has created twice as many touchdowns for itself (four) as it has allowed its opponents to throw (two). Oh, and the offense ranks seventh in rushing and sixth in passing efficiency. Oh, and the Bucks lead the nation in turnover margin. No one in college football turns question marks into exclamation points like Urban Meyer.
3. Central Michigan: John Bonamego and his feisty bag of Chips shouldn't be 3-0, but they are. A perfectly-executed Hail Mary-turned-Hook and Ladder turned a moral victory into an actual one at Oklahoma State, and Central Michigan blasted Presbyterian and UNLV in its two other games. Good news: CMU is 3-0 for the first time since 2002. Bad news: That season ended at 4-8. Even better news: The Chips are one of three teams nationally to rank in the top 10 in yards per play and the top 15 in yards per play allowed, and they're the only team do so while holding a win over a Power 5 team.
2. Miami: Meet another one of the teams in the top 10/top 15 club. (Washington is the other.) Except that really doesn't go far enough in explaining the 'Canes sheer dominance over their admittedly light schedule. Miami ranks second nationally at 8.29 yards per play and second in yards per play defense at 3.10. That's a 5.19-yard difference. Every snap.
1. Louisville: The 63-20 destruction of Florida State speaks for itself. But how about some numbers to back it up? Bobby Petrino's Cardinals average 9.39 yards per play. Florida State's 2013 team holds the Spread Era record at 7.67, and Miami sits more than a yard behind in second place. Look at it this way: The difference between Louisville and Miami is greater than the difference between No. 2 Miami and No. 10 Kentucky. Lamar Jackson is far and away the September Heisman winner, ranking third in yards per attempt (11.1), eighth in passing efficiency (181.82), 16th in passing touchdowns (8) and second in rushing yards (464) and first in touchdowns (10) -- that's for all players, not just quarterbacks.
But enough about the offense. Todd Grantham's defense places 11th in yards per play allowed and limited Florida State's offense to one of its worst outings in the Jimbo Fisher era.
These 10 teams have competed fabulously for their first three weeks. The next challenge? Do it again for the next nine.