Could the state of football in South Florida be any crazier right now? The entire Miami Dolphins organization has been sent to the principal’s office, and now Carl Pelini is denying any drug use and wants his old job back.

Yes, we’re serious. (Well, he wants his buyout at least.)

In a statement provided to ESPN on Thursday afternoon, Pelini says he never used drugs and was told by athletics director Pat Chun that it didn’t matter, he had been relieved of his duties. 

When told that he was being let go for “failing to supervise my staff”, Pelini denied knowledge of any Florida Atlantic coach using drugs. Chun is standing by a text message Pelini sent to defensive line coach Matt Edwards admitting to Pelini’s drug use, as well as notarized affidavits by Edwards a woman named Allison Stewart testifying they saw Pelini  smoking marijuana on a trip to Key West on Oct. 18-20. 

Chun said that Pelini “voluntarily resigned” when news broke last week, Pelini said that Chun and FAU police forced his resignation, seized his phone and denied his request to call a lawyer. 

Clearly, Pelini doesn’t really want to be the head coach at FAU again. He’s after a buyout that would pay him $500,000 if he were to be fired without cause. 

Read the full report here.

Update: Deadspin has obtained Pelini’s full statement. Read it here.

Oh, and there is this> 

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National columnist - Zach joined the staff in 2012...and has been attempting to improve Doug and Scott's writing ability ever since (to little avail). Outside of football season, you can find him watching the San Antonio Spurs reading Game of Thrones fan theories.