I think we can all agree that, as much as we wish it weren’t true because we see the unique value in it, football isn’t necessarily a game meant for everyone. With that said, you certainly don’t have to coach very long to hear a full run down of excuses from the kids who decide that the game we’ve dedicated much of our lives to isn’t for them.
The longer you coach, the more creative the excuses you’ve probably heard.
That brings me to a Twitter thread I came across from Glynn Academy (GA) head coach Rocky Hidalgo, where he has some fun in saying that he’s created an app that translates some of the common excuses that many kids use to quit, or not show up for football-related things.
I've invented a mobile app that translates the speech of kids who quit football to a language that football coaches can understand. . .
— Rocky Hidalgo (@CoachRock73) May 10, 2019
Coach Hidalgo goes on to share a number of excuses and lighthearted translations that will have you grinning at the very least. Most are pretty universal across all sports.
Quitter: I just don’t love it anymore.
Translation: Football is difficult, and I don’t like difficult things. Also, you hold me to a higher standard than the average student, and sometimes that is bothersome. Then there is that whole discipline and responsibility thing. . .
— Rocky Hidalgo (@CoachRock73) May 10, 2019
Quitter: “Coach, I’ve decided to focus on (insert sport).”
Translation: 90% of playing football requires a level of commitment that I do not have. I would prefer to pay $2500 to play in a fall league where people look the other way at my shortcomings because I paid to play.
— Rocky Hidalgo (@CoachRock73) May 10, 2019
Quittet: “Coach, I have to give up football to focus on school.”
Trandlation: Personally, I am ashamed to be quitting football, but I don’t want you to think ill of me, so I have crafted an excuse that portrays me in a more favorable light. I hope you believe it.
— Rocky Hidalgo (@CoachRock73) May 10, 2019
Quitter: My mom is making me quit to . . . (Insert reason here).
Translation: My reference to a parental unit adds validity to my excuse, but please do not call my mother to verify.
— Rocky Hidalgo (@CoachRock73) May 10, 2019
A few other coaches weighed in as well…
Coach you left off:
Quitter: I don’t have a ride anymore….(insert rides name and reason why they are unable to give said ride anymore) (after coach offers rides there is stunned silence)
Translation: I’m ashamed to be quitting so I’m trying to make an invalid reason valid.
— Aaron Clevenger (@Coach_Clevenger) May 11, 2019
Athlete: “I didn’t have ride.”
Coach: “Did you ask any of your 90 teammates for a ride?”
Athlete: …….Translation: “I didn’t want to come.”
— Steve Baudendistel (@CoachBaud) May 11, 2019
