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Come for the magic trick, stay for the wisdom: Lou Holtz at Texas

No matter what you think of the man's work on television, Lou Holtz is an absolutely elite-level public speaker. I had the chance to hear him address a room full of sportswriters at a College Football Playoff event in January where he threw a dose of self-depreciating humor his own way, saying, "On television you talk until you think of something to say." I've chuckled at that line in the three months since.

Anyway, Texas head coach Charlie Strong lists Holtz (the former served as the latter's defensive line coach at Notre Dame from 1995-96 and again as defensive coordinator at South Carolina from 1999-02) as one of his mentors, and invited him to Austin to speak to the 2015 batch of Longhorns. As always, Longhorn Network cameras rolled on the good stuff.

You can tell Holtz, now more than a decade into his retirement, cherishes the opportunities he gets to put on a hat and a windbreaker and speak to a room full of 18-to-22 year-old football players. He imparts a few chapters of his book of wisdom and wit, deadpanning after a player asked how he performed a newspaper trick,"I wake up in the middle of the night screaming because I can't figure it out, either."

Holtz left the team with this chill-inducing football proverb:

"Want to be happy for an hour? Eat a steak. Want to be happy for a day? Play golf. Want to be happy for a week? Go on a cruise. Want to be happy for a month? Buy a new car. Want to be happy for a year? Win the lottery."

"Want to be happy for a lifetime? Win a championship."