Dear Coaches, Please Keep Ice Burning Each Other. Signed, Everyone (Featured)

It's been a strong week for coaches dropping verbal bombs on each other, what with Kliff Kingsbury declaring Bret Bielema just got his ass kicked and Bielema in turn playing the "C'mon, bro, have some class" card (and then couldn't control himself and took another swipe at Kingsbury's record...). Turns out we're just getting started.

Coaches dropped a handful of memorable quotes on Tuesday. We'll start slow and end with a doozy.

- Steve Sarkisian threw an apparent dig at his own coaching staff after Stanford leaped from six points against Northwestern to 41 against his Trojans.

- Sonny Dykes likes quarterback Jared Goff and says the NFL should, too, because he's never stolen any crab legs: “He does some stuff I’ve never seen anybody do before,” Dykes told SI. “He gets the ball out so quick. He sees things. He’s got all the stuff. Physically, he’s still real skinny, and when [NFL scouts] get around him, they’re going to go, Am I really going to give this guy $100 million? Other then that, there’s not one negative thing you can say about the guy. He’s humble, he’s hard-working and loves football. There’s not one single skeleton in his closet. He’s all the stuff that you want. He’s never stolen crab legs, any kind of that stuff. You don’t have to worry about all that with him.” - Kevin Sumlin offers to referee at wrestling match between Kliff Kingsbury and Bret Bielema:

- Speaking of Bielema, Kingsbury said that his coaches heard Bielema's now-infamous ass-kicking threat at the Texas high school coaches convention.

- Finally, Patterson delivered the biggest haymaker of the day toward Baylor head coach Art Briles. For a little context, TCU defensive end Mike Tuaua (and a freshman wide receiver) was arrested for robbery after allegedly beating a group of TCU students and making off with a case of Keystone Light. Patterson defended Tuaua's character, which he says he never does when players get in trouble, and then referenced former Baylor defensive end Sam Ukwachu, who was convicted of rape in August.

Coaches, I think I speak for everyone when I say: Keep the gloves off and your lips moving. This is great.

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