Ready or not, it's here.
After 12 seasons of posturing, the most obnoxious divorced parents are finally getting back together, and we all get to watch their toxic, enthralling reunion. At 6:30 p.m. Central time on Saturday night (ABC), the perfect/catastrophic ending of Justin Tucker's 40-yard field goal splitting the Kyle Field uprights now becomes a comma instead of a period, as a new chapter in the Texas-Texas A&M rivalry begins.
In a piece like this, I could write paragraphs of flowery prose about what the revival of this game means, or I could just lay out the stakes and trust the reader to understand. I'll go with option B.
Let's start here: If No. 20 Texas A&M wins, the Aggies advance to the SEC Championship (their first), where a win would make them the No. 2 or No. 3 seed in the College Football Playoff. If they lose, they go to the Las Vegas Bowl.
But that's not all.
If No. 3 Texas wins, they go to a place (Atlanta, for the SEC Championship) in their first season where Texas A&M has tried and failed to go for 13 seasons and counting now. And they'll get to celebrate doing so on their rival's field, bookending a dozen years of silence with two of the loudest regular-season wins in college football history.
If Texas A&M wins, they not only get to play for the SEC title while denying Texas the opportunity to do so, they can credibly argue that Mike Elko got A&M to a place in 12 months beyond where Sark has managed to take Texas in four seasons. Considering UT's surprisingly soft SEC schedule, A&M can gloat for the next 364 days how Texas wasn't S-E-C ready.
If Texas wins, the Longhorns can gloat about how the Aggies wasted a 12-year head start, about how the rivalry will pick up exactly where it left off (Texas leads 76-37-5) and about how there's no other conference for A&M to run off to this time. Ready or not, you're stuck with us for life.
Talk about bragging rights.
In college football's final regular season weekend, it's our pleasure to lay out the stakes, big and small, in every game that has them -- 58 and all, beginning Tuesday night in Buffalo and ending early Sunday morning in Honolulu. In between, we'll make stops at Ohio Stadium, Michie Stadium, Bryant-Denny Stadium and Kyle Field.
All told, I count:
-- 20 games with conference championship stakes
-- 18 games with College Football Playoff implications
-- 16 teams playing to extend their season into December and January
And for the rest, plain, old bragging rights are on the line. Which is plenty enough on their own.
* For our purposes, we're assuming every 6-6 team will make a bowl game and no 5-7 teams. In reality, some 6-6 teams are likely to be left out of bowl season.
* The Big 12's tiebreakers are multi-layered where games not involving teams in the championship hunt (Utah-UCF, TCU-Cincinnati for example) are just as important as the games involving the contenders. Depending on how things shake out, we may need to know who finished seventh and eighth before we determine who's first and second.
* All rankings reflect CFP selection committee rankings.
TUESDAY
-- Kent State at Buffalo (7 p.m. ET, ESPN+): Buffalo can reach the MAC Championship with a win, plus subsequent losses by Ohio and Miami of Ohio. Kent State seeks to avoid becoming the first FBS team to post an 0-12 season since Akron did so in 2019.
THURSDAY
-- Memphis at No. 17 Tulane (7:30 p.m. ET, ESPN): First of all, it's a failure by society that the Egg Bowl isn't in this spot. Tulane has already clinched an AAC title berth, but a win here puts the game in New Orleans instead of West Point, and the Green Wave need a victory to remain in the College Football Playoff hunt. For Memphis, it's a compliment to the program that a 9-2 season is viewed as a disappointment. Still, Ryan Silverfield looks to record the program's first back-to-back 10-win seasons in program history.
FRIDAY
-- Oregon State at No. 11 Boise State (noon ET, Fox): Boise State has already clinched a berth in its eight MW Championship and hosting duties for the sixth time, but the Broncos need a victory to remain in the CFP race. Oregon State needs a win or its season ends on the blue turf, which would be a stark fall in Trent Bray's first season following last year's 8-5 season.
-- Oklahoma State at No. 25 Colorado (noon ET, ABC): Colorado reaches the Big 12 Championship with a win and losses by two of Arizona State, BYU and Iowa State. Oklahoma State seeks to avoid its first winless conference season since going 0-6-1 in Big 8 play way back in 1994.
-- Minnesota at Wisconsin (noon ET, CBS): In the 134th edition of FBS's oldest rivalry, a Minnesota win can accomplish two important things. First, it ends Wisconsin's season on its own field, which would end the third-longest active bowl streak at 23 years. Second, the Gophers can even the all-time ledger at 63-63-8.
-- Miami (Ohio) at Bowling Green (noon ET, ESPNU): We've got a bona fide MAC semifinal game. Both teams are 6-1 in MAC play, so the winner advances to Detroit, and perhaps the loser, if Ohio and Buffalo lose as well. Miami is the defending MAC champ, while Bowling Green looks to return to the game for the first time since 2015.
-- Ball State at Ohio (noon ET, CBS Sports Network): Ohio is in the MAC Championship with a win; the Bobcats are 0-5 all-time in Detroit and haven't won the MAC since 1968. There's also the possibility that this is Tim Albin's final game at Ohio with a loss. Wide berth here.
-- Navy at East Carolina (noon ET, ESPN): On Oct. 19, Navy was 6-0 and ranked in the AP Top 25 while East Carolina was 3-4 and a day away from firing Mike Houston. ECU hasn't lost since then, and Navy has won only once. In fact, a Pirates victory -- in their first game under new full-time head coach Blake Harrell -- puts them at no worse than a tie for third in the American, while a Navy loss could see the Midshipmen conceivably tumble from 6-0 to 7-6, depending on how they finish.
-- Mississippi State at No. 14 Ole Miss (3:30 p.m. ET, ABC): Ole Miss's Playoff hopes most likely went up in smoke at Florida last week, but the Bulldogs would gladly burn the ashes if the Rebels allow them. Mississippi State is 3-1 in its last four trips to Oxford; however, the current Bulldogs are looking to snap an 11-game SEC losing streak and avoid their first 0-8 conference season since 2002.
-- Liberty at Sam Houston (3:30 p.m. ET, CBS Sports Network): It's a C-USA semifinal game, with the winner looking to meet Jacksonville State in the conference title game next week. Defending champ Liberty is in with a win, while SHSU needs a win and a Western Kentucky loss, which they might very well get.
-- Utah State at Colorado State (3:30 p.m. ET, FS1): Colorado State blew its shot to meet Boise for the MW title with a loss at Fresno State last week. Now, Jay Norvell's Rams need a win here plus a UNLV loss. Considering a CSU win does nothing to help the Mountain West reach the Playoff -- at 7-4, Colorado State can only play the MW's way out of the field -- the Rams will have to play against Utah State and the wishes of their own conference. Colorado State is one of three programs to never play in the MW Championship.
-- Texas State at South Alabama (3:30 p.m. ET, ESPN+): At 6-5 on the season, South Alabama wins the Sun Belt West with a win plus a Louisiana loss. USA has never qualified for the 7-year-old Sun Belt Championship.
-- Stanford at San Jose State (4 p.m. ET, CBS): SJSU has already clinched a bowl berth, while Stanford is eliminated. Still, in a season that's seen conference road trips to Syracuse, N.Y., Clemson, S.C., and Raleigh, N.C., (plus a non-conference trip to South Bend), losing consecutive road trips to Cal and San Jose State would be the cherry on top of a miserable season.
-- Georgia Tech at No. 7 Georgia (7:30 p.m. ET, ABC): In a rare rivalry game pitting alums against each other, Brent Key went 3-1 vs. Georgia as a player, while Kirby was 3-1 against Tech (the two split the 1997 and '98 games in which they both played). Key has already beaten five ranked teams in two and a half seasons and played the Bulldogs to a 31-23 final last year in Atlanta. Kirby, meanwhile, hasn't lost to Tech since his first season at UGA.
-- Nebraska at Iowa (7:30 p.m. ET, NBC): Nebraska has finally slung the silverback gorilla off its back in ending its 9-game losing streak when playing for bowl eligibility by hammering Wisconsin last week. Their first bowl trip since 2016(!!) now clinched, the Huskers now look to defeat Iowa for just the second time in a decade.
-- Utah at UCF (8 p.m. ET, Fox): In one of those "How did we get here??" conference games, Utah and UCF meet for the first time in what could very well be Kyle Whittingham's final game in coaching.
SATURDAY
-- Michigan at No. 2 Ohio State (noon ET, Fox): Ohio State opened as the largest favorite in series history (2020 excluded), somehow bigger than 2008, when Michigan entered The Game at 3-8. The Wolverines might be a solid bet at plus-23.5, but it's hard to see Ohio State losing considering the Buckeyes allow fewer points and yards than any team in college football. The only intrigue here should be if Sherrone Moore plays to win or plays to keep the score respectable.
-- No. 8 Tennessee at Vanderbilt (noon ET, ABC): As far as I know, Vanderbilt has never beaten a ranked Tennessee team. I definitely know Vanderbilt has never knocked Tennessee out of the Playoff.
-- No. 15 South Carolina at No. 12 Clemson (noon ET, ESPN): It's the first Palmetto Bowl with both teams ranked since 2013, when No. 10 Carolina upset No. 6 Clemson to win their fifth in a row in the series. Those teams were ranked higher, but this game means more: the winner keeps their Playoff hopes alive, while the loser's hopes are dashed, while possibly having to watch the their rival in the CFP. Simply put, games like this are why the Playoff expanded in the first place.
-- UTSA at No. 25 Army (noon ET, CBS Sports Network): Army has already clinched an AAC title game berth, but they'd need a win to host and, likely, need a win to reach the Playoff.
-- No. 23 Illinois at Northwestern (noon ET, BTN): A win here and in their bowl game gives Illinois 10 victories for the first time since 2001. Northwestern has dominated this series of late, taking seven of the last nine, including 45-43 last year in Champaign.
-- Louisville at Kentucky (noon ET, SEC Network): Did you know they've only played the Commonwealth Cup 35 times? The Cardinals and Wildcats didn't play at all between 1924 and 1994. People should still be in prison over that. Anyway, an unranked UK knocked U of L out of the AP Top 10 last year and the Wildcats have won five straight in the series; Kentucky will not make a bowl game, which means Mark Stoops will treat Louisville as his bowl game.
-- UConn at UMass (noon ET, ESPN+): Jim Mora and his 7-4 Huskies are one of the best stories of the season, while UMass has already moved on from Don Brown. A UConn win evens the all-time series at 38-38-2.
-- Duke at Wake Forest (noon ET, ACC Network): A win here and in the bowl game gives Duke 10 wins for the second time in program history.
-- Kansas at Baylor (noon ET, ESPN2): Left for dead at 2-6 just a month ago, KU reaches its third straight bowl game with a win. Baylor, who started 2-4 with a loss to Utah that didn't count toward the conference standings, reaches the Big 12 Championship with a win and losses by Arizona State, Colorado, and Kansas State.
-- West Virginia at Texas Tech (noon ET, FS1): It's possible WVU's next game is played under a new head coach, if the program moves on from Neal Brown. It's also possible WVU's next game is the Big 12 Championship. WVU reaches Arlington with losses by Arizona State, Colorado, Baylor, BYU and Kansas State. Texas Tech needs Arizona State, Colorado and Iowa State to all lose to play in its first Big 12 Championship.
-- Louisiana at ULM (noon ET, ESPNU): Louisiana needs a victory to win the Sun Belt West for the fifth time, but first since 2021. ULM needs a win to extend its season. The Cajuns are 13-4 in this rivalry since 2005, though ULM did win the last game in Monroe.
-- North Texas at Temple (noon ET, ESPN+): After going 5-7 in his first season, Eric Morris needs a win to avoid ending his second campaign on a 6-game losing skid to finish 5-7. Also, we know this is not Temple's last football game ever, so that's good.
-- Eastern Michigan at Western Michigan (12:30 p.m. ET, ESPN+): EMU wins its sixth Michigan MAC Trophy and second in three years with a win, but a WMU victory allows the Broncos to retain the trophy, which would be its ninth. Both teams enter at 5-6, so this is a win-or-stay-home game.
-- Coastal Carolina at Georgia State (1 p.m. ET, ESPN+): Coastal needs a win to extend its season; the Chants have reached a bowl in four straight seasons.
-- Old Dominion at Arkansas State (3 p.m. ET, ESPN+): At 5-2 in conference play, I do not believe A-State can win the Sun Belt West, even in a 3-way tie. But maybe a 3-way tie would allow Butch Jones and co. to ask the folks in the Sun Belt offices really nicely to hand them the division championship.
-- Maryland at No. 4 Penn State (3:30 p.m. ET, BTN): Fresh off a scintillating 1-point win at Minnesota, Penn State can cruise into a Playoff home game if only they can climb the insurmountable hill of beating 4-7 Maryland at home.
-- No. 5 Notre Dame at USC (3:30 p.m. ET, CBS): Notre Dame hosts a Playoff game with a win and quite possibly misses with a loss. USC can partially salvage what's otherwise been a lost season with a win. The Irish have won eight of the past 11.
-- Auburn at No. 13 Alabama (3:30 p.m. ET, ABC): Either Auburn wins and extends its season into December while eliminating any prayer of its arch-rival reaching the Playoff, or its season ends on Saban Field. Auburn hasn't won at Bryant-Denny since the 2010 "Camback," but how's this for a nugget? Alabama has never beaten Auburn in Tuscaloosa without Nick Saban as head coach. Yes, Alabama played all its Iron Bowl home games in Birmingham between 1901 and 2000, but still.
-- No. 6 Miami at Syracuse (3:30 p.m. ET, ESPN): A Miami win sends the Canes to their second ACC Championship, while a loss tumbles them out of the game and, likely, the Playoff. Syracuse, who hasn't beaten Miami since 1998, can take Fran Brown's debut season from "unqualified success" to "unbelievable success." The 8-3 Orange to secure just their second 10-win season since 2001.
-- Cal at No. 11 SMU (3:30 p.m. ET, ACC Network): SMU has already clinched a berth in the ACC title game. It's my personal opinion that SMU is in the Playoff with a win here regardless of what occurs next week, and it should be the committee's as well.
-- No. 16 Arizona State at Arizona (3:30 p.m. ET, Fox): Arizona State is in the Big 12 Championship with a win here regardless of what happens elsewhere, while Arizona's season ends at the final horn so Brent Brennan's team will treat this as their bowl game. ASU won five straight from 2017-21, but U of A has taken the last two Territoral Cups.
-- Arkansas at No. 21 Missouri (3:30 p.m. ET, SEC Network): Eli Drinkwitz said every 10-2 SEC team should make the Playoff. In all likelihood, every 10-2 SEC team will make the Playoff, his team's just not one of them. Still, Mizzou has the opportunity to secure back-to-back 10-win seasons for the first time in a decade, while Sam Pittman (6-5 on the year) can buoy his job security with a win here. Mizzou has won seven of the last eight.
-- Rutgers at Michigan State (3:30 p.m. ET, FS1): Michigan State needs to win to avoid missing a bowl game for the third straight season after their 11-2 "breakthrough" season of 2021.
-- Fresno State at UCLA (3:30 p.m. ET, BTN): This could be Tim Skipper's last game as Fresno State's head coach, or simply his last game as Fresno State's interim head coach as the Bulldogs look to improve to 7-5. UCLA, meanwhile, will look to avoid setting the record for lowest-attended home game as the Bruins play out the string of a 4-7 season against a Group of 5 school in the middle of the afternoon of a holiday weekend.
-- NC State at North Carolina (3:30 p.m. ET, ACC Network): Either NC State beats its rival to extend its season, or the 2024 season ends on UNC's field. The Wolfpack have won three in a row and six of the past eight.
-- Florida Atlantic at Tulsa (3:30 p.m. ET, ESPN+): On a weekend of high-stakes football, this wins the award for lowest-stakes game. Both teams have already fired their coaches and they're a combined 1-13 in AAC play. The loser finishes in last place in the American.
-- Jacksonville State at Western Kentucky (4 p.m. ET, ESPNU): Jacksonville State has already clinched hosting duties in next week's C-USA Championship, and WKU can join them with a win plus a Sam Houston win over Liberty.
-- UTEP at New Mexico State (4 p.m. ET, ESPN+): Neither team is playing in a bowl, which makes the Battle of I-10 their bowl game. UTEP leads 59-39-2 all-time, but NMSU won last year and has taken four of the last six.
-- TCU at Cincinnati (6 p.m. ET, ESPN+): TCU is the one 5-3 team not in the running for the Big 12 title, but the game still has stakes. Cincinnati must win or its season ends here.
-- Appalachian State at Georgia Southern (6 p.m. ET, ESPN+): Georgia Southern wins its first Sun Belt East title with a win plus a Marshall loss, while App needs a win to extend its season.
-- Wyoming at Washington State (6:30 p.m., The CW): A win here and in their bowl game gives Washington State 10 wins for the first time since 2018. This, after going 5-7 last season and see the Pac-12 evaporate before their eyes. Put Jake Dickert on your Coach of the Year lists.
-- Purdue at No. 10 Indiana (7 p.m. ET, FS1): Last week's loss to Ohio State was largely forgiven. A loss here would not be. Indiana seeks its first perfect home season since 1991, while Purdue looks to avoid its first winless Big Ten season since 2013. The Boilermakers have taken the Old Oaken Bucket three straight times and five of the past six.
-- Florida at Florida State (7 p.m. ET, ESPN2): My how the tables have turned. Florida may set a record for most fans inside Doak Campbell Stadium as the Gators look to snap a 2-game series losing streak. A loss gives Florida State 10 defeats for the first time since 1974.
-- Oklahoma at LSU (7 p.m. ET, ESPN): It's the fourth Sooners-Tigers meeting, and the first on each other's campus. An Oklahoma victory puts both teams at 7-5 heading into bowl season, but they'd be the most diametrically opposed 7-5 as one can imagine.
-- Washington at No. 1 Oregon (7:30 p.m. ET, NBC): Oregon is in the Playoff regardless and will still be a No. 1 seed with a win over Ohio State next week, but don't tell Dan Lanning this game is meaningless. He's 0-3 against the Huskies.
-- No. 24 Kansas State at No. 18 Iowa State (7:30 p.m. ET, Fox): Both teams are still in the Big 12 championship chase, but both need help. Significant, in K-State's case. That's okay, though, because these teams hate enough already to bring some heat to a late November night in the Iowa plains. ISU leads Farmaggedon 53-50-4 all-time and has won four of the past six, including a 42-35 decision in Manhattan last year.
-- Nevada at No. 22 UNLV (8 p.m. ET, CBS Sports Network): UNLV gets a shot at its second outright conference championship with a win here. Nevada leads the all-time series 28-21, but UNLV has won four of six and two straight.
-- Virginia at Virginia Tech (8 p.m. ET, ACC Network): After losing in Blacksburg back in 1998, Virginia Tech led the Commonwealth Cup 38-36-5. Their lead is now 61-38-5, having won 22 of the last 24, including three straight. This is a true win-or-stay-home game with both teams entering 5-6.
-- Marshall at James Madison (8 p.m. ET, ESPNU): Marshall will either clinch by halftime if Georgia Southern loses to App State or find itself in a win-or-else game, since they'd lose a head-to-head tiebreaker for the Sun Belt East to Clay Helton's team. The Thundering Herd have collected 13 championships across five different conferences, but they've never won the Sun Belt.
-- Houston at No. 19 BYU (10:15 p.m. ET, ESPN): In the fourth Cougar Bowl, BYU is squarely in the mix for the Big 12 Championship, and chances are this could be a win-and-in game by kickoff.
-- New Mexico at Hawaii (11 p.m. ET): New Mexico needs a win to reach a bowl game. If they lose, the Hawaii trip becomes their bowl game. There are worse places to end a season.