There's a line from the book The Fault in Our Stars that goes like this: Falling in love is like falling asleep. It happens slowly, and then all at once.
And so it was with Nick Saban's retirement from coaching.
In a fantastic story detailing the tick-tock of Alabama's coaching change, Saban explained to ESPN's Chris Low that he first started thinking about hanging up his straw hat following the 2022 season.
"Greg, this is getting more and more difficult on me," Saban told Byrne. "I'm not ready to do it now, but we're going to have to start evaluating this more on a year-to-year basis."
As Saban has explained in interviews since his exit, the way the 2023 season unfolded played a large part in his exit, exhausting what emotional and physical energy the 72-year-old had left. The Crimson Tide suffered an unthinkable home, non-conference loss to Texas on Sept. 9, and then nearly fell into full-on turmoil in surviving a road trip to South Florida the following week, escaping with a horrendous 17-3 win.
Alabama rallied thereafter. With Jalen Milroe re-installed as the starting quarterback, the Crimson Tide handled No. 15 Ole Miss 24-10 the week after USF, beat ranked Tennessee and LSU teams in back-to-back weeks in mid-season, pulled off an instant classic escape in the Iron Bowl, and then dethroned Georgia in the SEC Championship, snapping the Dawgs' 29-game winning streak and ending their run for an unprecedented 3-peat.
But as sweet as that 11-game winning streak was, the ending was equally bitter. Controversially elevated over Florida State into the Playoff, Alabama blew a late lead against No. 1 Michigan in the Rose Bowl. Though no one knew it at the time, Michigan would go on to win the national title the following week.
After the game, Saban knew he'd missed his last, best shot at a national title. He also didn't recognize the team he saw after Alabama lost to Michigan in overtime. The Crimson Tide did not handle the loss in the fashion Saban expects.
"I want to be clear that wasn't the reason, but some of those events certainly contributed," Saban said of his decision to retire. "I was really disappointed in the way that the players acted after the game. You gotta win with class. You gotta lose with class. We had our opportunities to win the game and we didn't do it, and then showing your ass and being frustrated and throwing helmets and doing that stuff ... that's not who we are and what we've promoted in our program."
The Sabans departed for their Jupiter Island, Fla., home on Jan. 4, at which point Nick and Miss Terry began a series of conversations that culminated in his retirement.
Saban spoke to Bill Parcells and Gene Stallings. He spoke with Alabama AD Greg Byrne over the phone. He met with Byrne when he returned to campus -- a change of venue from their normal meetings, which previously took place in Saban's office because he was previously too busy to leave.
As the afternoon of Jan. 10 arrived, a process that began more than a year earlier still was not complete. Saban repeated the story that he told back in January: he didn't make the final, final decision to leave until minutes before his last team meeting.
"I'm sitting there looking at the clock, talking to Ms. Terry, and you know you've got a team meeting coming up. I guess I still wasn't 100 percent sure," Saban said. "I thought it was the right time for us. I didn't like how it would impact the program, the players, the coaches, the people in the organization, the university. That part of it was really hard. But it was inevitable that it was going to happen at some point in time, and I didn't want to ride the program down.
"It was just the right time."
In speaking to Low, however, Saban said something he didn't back in January.
Though he didn't acknowledge either by name, Saban said that the twin forces of the Portal and NIL have changed the game to the point where the coach felt like his message no longer resonated.
"I thought we could have a hell of a team next year, and then maybe 70 or 80 percent of the players you talk to, all they want to know is two things: What assurances do I have that I'm going to play because they're thinking about transferring, and how much are you going to pay me?" Saban recounted. "Our program here was always built on how much value can we create for your future and your personal development, academic success in graduating and developing an NFL career on the field.
"So I'm saying to myself, 'Maybe this doesn't work anymore, that the goals and aspirations are just different and that it's all about how much money can I make as a college player?' I'm not saying that's bad. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying that's never been what we were all about, and it's not why we had success through the years."
If Saban was 52 years old today and not 72, perhaps he has the energy and the will to alter his approach to speak to today's player. If he was 72 years old in 2014 and not 2024, perhaps he doesn't need to marshal so much energy to continue coaching.
Maybe, maybe not. We'll never know.
"People wanted assurances that I was going to be here for three or four years, and it became harder to make those assurances," Saban said. "But the thing I loved about coaching the most was the relationships that you had with players, and those things didn't seem to have the same meaning as they once did."