PROVO, Utah -- Kalani Sitake immediately is at ease with a stranger, bro-hug and handshake preceding self-deprecating humor from the links.
“I’m terrible at golf,” BYU’s affable coach, a day after a charity scramble, says. “These fans don’t want me to be good at golf.”
Handing out water bottles and settling into his office overlooking the Cougars’ picturesque practice fields, Sitake showcases a bit more humility in the name of comedic improv.
He’s still receiving needling from his family – with his wife of two decades, Timberly, the couple has four children – from a relatively recent family trip to Disneyland.
Because pictures with Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck and … the extrovert Cougars leader are part of the vacation experience. Right?
“I like hanging out with my family, love my kids. I just like being around people. It’s my favorite thing,” Sitake tells FootballScoop. “I like going to places where I can interact with fans. It’s never a bother for me. It’s weird, because when some people maybe stare at me in public, I want to go up to them and be like, ‘Hey, how are you doing?’ It happens to me at Disneyland, because there’s a bunch of members of our church who like to go to Disneyland. So when they see me, it’s like, ‘Hey, Kalani.’ So I take pictures.
“But I think sometimes I assume that they’re a BYU fan or that they know who I am. So there was this one family, they were kind of looking at me, and I was being extra nice like, ‘Hey, how are you guys doing?’ And they had no idea who I was. So I said, ‘Hey, you guys want to take a picture together?’ And they were like, ‘Why would we want to take a picture with you?’ and that’s when I’m like, ‘All right, maybe I need to back up.’ …
“And my family was laughing.”
In playfully flogging himself, Sitake also reveals – on the field, off the field, golf course, office, movies, grocery store – precisely who he is and the fundamental, non-negotiable tenets for which he stands – also, on and off the field.
Sitake is ambassador for his church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; for the alma mater, BYU, he so treasures; for the late, great LaVell Edwards; the Cougars program before him, present and future.
What he asks of his players and coaches, the eighth-year head coach Sitake demands of himself.
“I grew up a BYU fan, first of all, and then I got to play for Coach Edwards and then I become the head coach,” says Sitake, a former BYU team captain whose brief NFL career with the Cincinnati Bengals traces its premature end to a back injury. “You can imagine for me, the feeling I had when I was a player, it was important for me when I became head coach to do that for my guys as well.
“It’s a different time, but to do it, we defined it. It’s a culture of love and learn.”
Though he provides the definition for the fabric of his program, Sitake points to his predecessors – especially the College Hall of Famer Edwards – as still responsible for the framework decades hence.
“We love the opportunity that we have, and we’re also willing to learn and get better. LaVell did that for me, so I think people give me a lot of credit for the culture, but it’s actually stuff that was already there,” says Sitake of a BYU program that owns 12 seasons of eight or more wins since 2006, 18 bowl berths since 2001. “Stuff that I learned from being a member of the church, to being a player for LaVell, stuff for my family. All of that stuff goes into our culture, so I think the culture is centered around the message of Jesus Christ.
“We’re a faith-based institution, so we can talk about Christ and the interesting thing is that we have a really cool environment here and players of other faiths. We have players who are Muslim and we have one that is Jewish, our backup quarterback. They feel really comfortable being able to live out their religious beliefs here. That’s really cool for me, because that means the culture is welcoming for everybody and loving for everyone. We can really enhance that here as a football program. We have the most guys on one team (on campus) and it’s never perfect, but the kids are to me. We just keep promoting the good parts of life and their ability to represent their family and their loved ones and to do it within this program, I think, guys gravitate towards it and they don’t mind what we ask them to do. I think it’s a really good thing, a good system, but the foundation of it all is from LaVell.”
The heart and passion with which Sitake leads also translate to a relentless mental and physical toughness. The previously independent Cougars, mere months away from wading into Big 12 Conference play, have recent contests against the likes of LSU, Utah, Tennessee, Wisconsin, Arkansas, USC, and a bevy of others.
Yet in three of the last four seasons, BYU owns second-half winning streaks of four or more games; these runs are roots growing a stretch of five consecutive bowl berths. Adding into this equation is the 2020 season featuring a 9-0 start, five-point loss at Coastal Carolina and 11-1 finish.
Sitake leans into his program’s fresh horizon.
“I was at Utah when we went from Mountain West to the Pac-12, so I saw that transition,” he says. “This is a little different going from independent to Big 12, but there’s some similarities and things I want to see us do a little different. But the competition, I love, man. I like it the tough way. I want to play the best. I want to find out how good we are. Now we’re in a situation where we’re playing the best, and it’s a tough schedule, tough team, tough players ahead of us.
“My goal is to get us to play the best we can 12 times and to create more opportunities. That’s my goal, but it’s a lot easier and you get the guys’ attention when you say, ‘Hey, we’re going to Tennessee.’ When you’re an independent, you had to create that. And the problem is they focused on those games and now, you can’t take anything lightly. We’ve had to play such a front-loaded scheduled, that it’s going to be nice – they’re not preseason games, we’ve had to play Tennessee and Utah and USC the first three games.
“You know what’s ahead of you in the conference schedule, the nine Big 12 games. There’s a sense of urgency to play your best the first three games so that you can get into the conference full speed ahead. Now we’re like everybody else.”
The Sitake Way, says Hugh Freeze, already is emblematic of college football’s top realm.
"They'll play anyone. They're a Power Five team that probably plays a harder schedule than a lot of Power Five conference teams because of where they are currently,” says then-Liberty and current Auburn coach Hugh Freeze in a press conference last season leading into the meeting of the two programs. “It is a tall, tall challenge. They're physically much larger than we are; they've got some full-grown men, and obviously, they know what they're doing.
“They've won a lot of football games at their place, and now you bring in Kalani who, truthfully, … Kalani Sitake is one of the finest human beings that you will ever meet. He loves his players. I just enjoy being around this guy. I love his core values, what he is about.”
Ultimately, what Sitake and the Cougars remain about might be the program’s most stabilizing asset amidst college athletics, and specifically college football’s, ongoing upheaval.
Sure, BYU embraces Name, Image and Likeness; it boasts an impressive – and passionate – alumni base.
What it does not do, will not do, is compromise program standards. Which is perhaps why the five-star talents the Cougars do have on the roster are in Provo after initiating their careers elsewhere.
“There’s people that are still attracted to the culture; a lot of guys that we got in the Transfer Portal, that was the theme that they wanted the most,” Sitake, noting the state of Utah’s rapid population growth and elevating incomes for the region, says. “It wasn’t about money or NIL or stuff; it was just like, ‘Hey, I really think I can be my best as part of your team.’ They came for the right reasons. I’m going to be open to that.”
Similarly, the ever-competitive Sitake – particularly with Power 5 Conference residency at hand – relishes the opportunity to wade into deeper recruiting battles among elite college prospects – so long as their intangibles match their tangible traits.
“I want them, I want the best athletes, don’t get me wrong. I would love to have the best athletes, as long as they’re aligned with our culture and our team,” Sitake says. “We’re not going to change. The easiest thing to say is that this place has never been about one player. It’s not going to be about one coach or one player. It’s going to be about the entire group. That means everybody has value here who is on our roster. I want Kenny (Cox) and Brett (Pyne) to feel involved with the team. When the team has success, I want everyone to feel like they’re a big part of it. Whether he’s a custodian or an A.D., I want him to feel like this is their team.
“There’s a lot of four-star, five-star athletes who would be aligned with what we do. We get them later, Kedon (Slovis, quarterback) is a big-time recruit. I’m looking for four-star, five-stars. And I’m looking for four-star, five-star fit for what we’re trying to get done. We’re not like everybody else, we’re unique and different and there’s nothing wrong that. But we’re also embracing all kinds of players. There’s a good group of young men. They’re not all members of the church. We’re open to guys that want to come here and be part of something special, be a part of something bigger than themselves.”
It’s about becoming a part of the BYU family, the one unapologetically in Sitake’s image. The one that makes families feel part of Sitake’s extended family, to ask for those special photographs.
Or perhaps to even have Sitake ask for a picture.
