Every once in a while a player has a name that belongs among college football's royalty. When I was a kid, I remember a Notre Dame linebacker named Mike Stonebreaker. That's a near-perfect name for any defensive player.
Earlier today, Michigan announced that they received a $3 million gift and thus changed offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeier's official title to "the Sanford Robertson Offensive Coordinator". Back in May of 2012 the offensive coordinator position at Stanford was endowed by Andrew Luck, thereby making it the "Andrew Luck Directorship of Offense" moving forward.
For reasons I can't quite explain, the combination of those two thoughts today got me to thinking: What former players have names that would perfectly fit the endowment of a coordinator position?
For the sake of this article, and in the name of all that is fun, let's pretend every person on the list has the type of money needed to endow their program's coordinator position.
Nebraska: "The I.M. Hipp Director of Offense" - I.M. Hipp is the name of a former Nebraska running back, but it would be so much more fitting if this was endowed with Kliff Kingsbury at Texas Tech, or even Kevin Sumlin at Texas A&M.
Southern Miss: "The Britt Barefoot Coordinator of Special Teams" - Barefoot was the name of a kicker (believe it or not) for Southern Miss. It's a layup of a connection for special teams, and perhaps the only one in existence.
LSU: "The Billy Cannon Passing Game Coordinator" - Cannon is LSU's only Heisman winner and also has the perfect name to go with the modern day "pass game coordinator' appointment.
Washington: "The Sonny Sixkiller Director of Defense" - Even though Sixkiller was a quarterback during his time at U-Dub, "Sixkiller" has to be the ultimate name for a defensive coordinator.
Georgia Tech: "The Immaculate Perfection Harris Coordinator of Offense" - Georgia Tech, triple option offense, and "perfection" rolled into one? This one needs no further explanation. Harris was a corner at GT in the early 2000's.
Wake Forest: "The Godspower Offor Defensive Coordinator" - Having "Godspower" in the defensive coordinator name is bound to immediately make your defense better, or at the very least provide a healthy intimidation factor.
TCU: "The Tank Carder Run Game Coordinator" - This is another one of those names that just fits better on the other side of the ball. A linebacker, Tank was one of the pillars of the excellent TCU defenses.
Marshall: "The Darius Passmore Director of Passing Game" - This may be my all time favorite on the entire list. Darius Passmore was a receiver for Marshall and his name could not be any more fitting considering Marshall ranked in the top 8 in pass attempts last year, and finished #2 in 2012.
Honorable Mention (other assistants/head coaches):
Virginia: "The D'Brickashaw Ferguson Offensive Line Coach" - "Brick" and offensive line coach just seem to go together so well...it was almost too easy. Ferguson was (of course) an offensive lineman, and the NY Jets first round pick, out of Virginia in 2006.
Florida Atlantic: "The Yourhighness Morgan Head Coach at FAU" - As if "head coach" doesn't come with enough immediate respect, adding "Yourhighness" to the title certainly will. Morgan was a linebacker for the Owls during his playing days.
Kansas State: "The Rock Cartwright Running Backs Coach" - What better name to link with toting the rock than the former Kansas State running back?
Which one is your favorite? Am I missing one from another popular program, or even one already listed? Let me know @CoachSamz or in the comments below.
(H/T Bleacher Report for refreshing my mind on a lot of these names)